Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

Who is big and stupid My brother

What comes after 69... Mouthwash

Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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