want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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Knock knock Go away

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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