Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's long and black? A line at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops