Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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What's half of 8? o

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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