What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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France had one revolution

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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