Your mom is not fat!

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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