Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops