Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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women's rights

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Diarrhea

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops