https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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what has genitial warts? me

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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