What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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hear hear

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops