Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...