A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

aodhan hearty

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

that wall over there ->

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops