Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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