What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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I hate Jews The Holocaust

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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