What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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Skinny people fart less.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops