A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ben Affleck

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the old man say? Im old

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops