A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Hey Shea

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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