What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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why is the sky blue? - because you have herpes.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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