So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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View Terms of Service

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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A van drives into a car.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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