I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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