What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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