AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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hear hear

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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