A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

One day a man walked into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -25

the power to turn magnetism into light

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

my mind's eye?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops