What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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why did the boy fall back wards? he was shot dead

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops