How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops