A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops