What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

Men

Hey man. what? squidbillies.

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: It didn't do it for any good reason,chickens are mindless and do random things,like crossing the road

what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

"Knock knock." "Come in."

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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