What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

69

What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

Hail Hitler

How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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