What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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