Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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yo momma so fat that she needs to lose weight

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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