That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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were you expecting a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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