An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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A women in the kitchen.

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i had sex.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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John Cena for president

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops