How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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Neither did she.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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