Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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