A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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What? Yes.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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