im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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