What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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