I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops