Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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