What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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