A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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The global news

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What comes after 69? 70

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A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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4 hours later.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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what's the difference between a duck?

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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