What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

j.p. is dumb

Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

A sober Irish individual.

His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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