Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

hello

Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

I will create more jobs for americans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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