The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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Invisible Children Foundation.

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops