What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops