Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The Moon Landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +13

womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops