So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops