5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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