Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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how did the man with the gun die? obesity

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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