what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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A kid a jew and a child molester walk into a room . what happens next? Nothing there in a room.

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops