whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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