Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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wommmoaooammaaa

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Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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